Stone and Mortar; Faith and Testimonies
I hesitate to say this since I do not want to jynx it-- however;
This is has probably been one of the busiest weeks of my mission.
I would like to regard it to the work of the area, but it mostly pertained to aiding in Zone Conference, getting all the missionaries from the airport multiple times in one day, us meeting with Elder Alliaud of the Area Seventy, and literally adhering to modern revelation.
It felt as if Elder Crossley and I weren't in a meeting, we were running somewhere. Which quite frankly, I am sure it would be a reflected feeling across each missionary. Even at times waiting/attending interviews until 11:30pm, and waking up at 5am the next morning to get some things ready for the events of that day.
Mind you, I am not trying to express that, "Oh we did so much this week, we sacrificed so much." We were so much at peace with what happened this last week. I believe each missionary contributed as much as they could, and that is why nothing collapsed into catastrophic failure. Considering we had every since Greek speaking missionary for a combined Zone Conference (~30 vs our usual ~15), Area Presidency visit, and transfers, it went pretty smoothly!
I'm particular about what I include in my emails and I debated on explaining how much we did last week. But as I began, I decided to include it since it feels like a large step since I've been a missionary.
Despite the fact I have been on a mission for 16 months, I've continuing to learn and continuing to grow. It feels that every few months, God has allowed us to experience something that helps us to learn or even to realize, "Oh, I can actually do this!"
Being fearful of things becoming overwhelming as a missionary is very common. We don't always know what to do or how things are going to go. Maybe you have to be the one to decide how events will proceed, and you always want to choose the best option, but you don't know what that is.
So naturally, you ask those around you for their advice. Often they will give their own advices without something concrete. At times even, they may suggest an additional option!
Can I let you in on something? It may be what you need to hear, it might not. But it was something I needed to hear this last week.
Your perspective is just as valuable as someone else's. You might be wrong. They might be wrong. But their perspective is just as valuable.
I sometimes think back to what one of my good friends told me in the MTC, "A wrong decision is always better than no decision."
In light of saturated weeks such as the last, I often think about making a decision even if I don't know if its the best one. Or even during planning, we might have a contradiction of ideas. Such as a question brought up during Zone Conference to Elder Alliaud.
Elder Alliaud and his wife lead the Zone Conference as they were there. They made remarks that I will remember for the rest of my mission. As he concluded a thought, he asked, "Is there any questions you have or something that we can discuss about?"
An Elder raised his hand from the back and asked one of the most honest questions a missionary could.
"We keep track of number of people we find, teach, and baptize each week. We set a goal for these things each and every week. But we are told these numbers do not matter and that we should be guiding by the spirit. How should I plan for a week when those numbers don't matter and yet we should be trying to hit our goal?"
This question has been attempted to be answered probably as many times as some math impossible math equations in colleges. Each time it is asked it often roots down the same basic variables; aren't I setting goals each week for someone else's salvation? Isn't that bad?
Often times this question is solved in one way or another. But Elder Alliaud said something that has changed my perspective on it forever.
He spoke on guiding by the Holy Ghost and learning from the past but not living in it's common misery by dwelling there.
He looked at this Elder in the back with a hand posed in his direction. "Don't pay attention to the numbers, pay attention to the desire of your heart."
That sentence stayed with me.
What are your plans each week? What are you working towards? What is driving you to work each day and step out of that door?
Sister Alliaud spoke later and shared a thought that yet again stuck with me because it paired beautifully with the remarks from Elder Alliaud.
"Don't ever compare-- Don't ever do it." Even going through the same thing will present different experiences, emotions, or actions. There is no point in comparing.
As we strive to be guided by the spirit in our every day actions and in our planning each day-- as missionaries or as members-- we must keep in mind the desires of our heart and that the Holy Ghost is guiding us.
There is so many things we don't know, guys. We can't even begin to grasp it. So we must have the guidance of the Holy Ghost.
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Elder Alliaud pulled off is watch and held out to an Elder in the front row.
"What is this?" he asked.
"A watch?" the missionary questions.
"What do you know about it?" Elder Alliaud asks, which the missionary gives a general response about it's details and things he could infer about it.
"Who made this?" Alliaud asked.
"I don't know-- a watchmaker?"
"It couldn't have materialized out of nothing or was assembled by itself?" Alliaud asked intently.
"The chances of that is very small. It's a lot of moving parts." the missionary replied.
"So what is more complicated-- this watch or the entire universe?"
"The universe."
"Just because you don't know the watchmaker doesn't mean he doesn't exist."
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I don't have a lot of time, but I wanted to include some of my quotes from the various meetings we attended. Some of these meant a lot to me, and as well as the members and other missionaries.
"Leave every interaction with them knowing that you believe it[the gospel]."
"When someone says 'no' you are still fufilling your purpose."
"We don't have the slightest idea who are the elect. That is one of the misteries of the gospel." This was in context of our missionary purpose and we are to invite ALL to come unto Christ. If we were only inviting the elect, it would infringe on the plan of Salvation. So it is for the best we do not, because all deserve to hear his message. Because everyone has the opportunity to be exalted.
"The past is a great place to learn but not a great place to live."
"Don't plan to fail, plan for the desire of your heart."
"Ask questions from heaven." in context of teaching and inviting others.
"People never change because what they know. They change because of what they feel."
"I feel prompted to say this-- there will be a temple in Greece. And you will see it. [...]And when you see it you will cry."
"You are building a temple right now. And Temples are not built with bricks and stones. That is the easy part. They are built with blood and sweat; faith and testimonies."
I love you all, and hope you are all doing wonderfully wherever you might be. The weather is coming up warm again! It was almost t-shirt weather today, haha!
Elder Dylan Hansen